Monday, September 12, 2011


Today is the beginning of a new week.  This has been an incredibly difficult weekend.  Some of it was very personal and some of it was very public.

Yesterday was the 10th time I watched as we collectively memorialized the events of September 11. That put my emotions in their own "high alert" zone and they were already in an acute state for reasons that are far more personal.

I suspect this is going to be a difficult week.  I am coming upon the five year mark of The Big Surgery.  For whatever reason, it seems to be more painful than it's been in the past.  Is it because these 5 yr, 10 yr marks are somehow more significant?  I don't know.

Today is my Post 9/11 meltdown and my pre surgery anniversary breakdown.  I normally do not write on the weekends but I did share my memories of 2001 in an entry I posted yesterday.

I leave you with that for now.  And I share the words of Tom Junod, the journalist who bravely reported on that which was and still is, a very shrouded memory of 9/11.

When I listened to him in one of the You Tube links, I am still reminded of how many of these thoughts apply not only to the horrors of the choices made by some on 9/11...... but to the struggles of some of our sisters.

they were "pushed to the side"

There exists an "element of exclusion" because they "died improperly" (is there a PROPER way to die?)

and his compassionate voice of reason,

they "should not be excluded........(because) they died in a way that makes us uncomfortable."

And so, I am going to continue to belabor the point.  We can't lose sight of those with metastatic disease.  None of us is cured.  Many of us are survivors, some of us are still in active treatment but we are all in this same lousy club.  And we are in it together.  And we need to support each other.

I'm going to find my irreverent self.  She seems to have gotten lost for the moment but I will return her to her rightful place on these blog pages.

Happy Monday.....

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