WHAT HAPPENED IN DC STAYS IN DC

Now that I am home, my work completed, I am allowed to speak.  Over the past couple of weeks I have repeatedly alluded to having too much to do and not enough hours in which to get things done.  Here's why.  I recently had the opportunity to serve as a consumer reviewer to evaluate research applications submitted to the Breast Cancer Research Program (BCRP) sponsored by the Department of Defense.   It was such an honor to have the Dr Susan Love Research Foundation submit a nomination on my behalf and it was even more of an honor to have my application approved and even MORE of an honor to serve on a panel.

Seated alongside prominent scientists to discuss and evaluate each application was a bit daunting.  I had no idea what to expect.  Despite excellent communication and mentoring and plenty of training tools provided to me in the weeks leading up to the meeting, I would be lying if I tried to say I was remotely confident walking into that room for the very first time. Or for that matter, the second day and yes, even the final day.  The panels are assembled and the meetings are held to help determine how the $120 million appropriated by Congress for Fiscal Year 2012 will be spent on future breast cancer research.

Consumer reviewers represent the collective view of breast cancer survivors and patients, family members, and persons at risk for the disease.  As a consumer reviewer, I was able to speak for all of us.  I was able to share, from the patient's perspective, what impact any given proposal could have on US... on all of US as patients.  I was surrounded by some of the brightest research minds and it was fascinating to listen and learn from each one of them.  And, if I am to be completely honest:  Yes.I.Was.A.Nervous.Wreck.  Positively out of my league but it was exhilarating to listen and to be heard.  Patients matter.  Having a seat at the table was a privilege and I do hope I will be invited to serve again.

I saw some familiar faces but beyond that, I can't share.  People whom I've known for quite some time via social media stepped out from behind the screens.  There were hugs and there was elation at meeting in person.  And there was excitement among all of us to be participating in a small way, to help guide the future of the research.  Frankly, I'm still a bit awestruck by the enormity of what I witnessed.  Actually, I wasn't a witness... I was a participant.  Maybe dumbstruck is a better word?

Interested?  You can get more information on the Breast Cancer Research Program, including how to serve as a consumer reviewer, on the CDMRP Web site: http://cdmrp.army.mil/cwg/role.shtml.  

If you click the link, you can poke around and see what types of research has been funded in past years.  High risk, high reward, innovative, impactful....  This is not the same old, same old.  And, I didn't just show up for the meeting.  I had to review the applications ahead of time.  It's all explained in that link.  I wanted to do a good job.  I wanted to feel like I gave it my very best.  Because I want to see the day where breast cancer is no more.

Now you know why I've been a bit distracted and somewhat back-blogged.  I was reading my assigned applications and I was determined to understand and it was, at times, challenging.  I wasn't at liberty to share that I would be on an upcoming panel until after the fact.  I see so many comments on a number of posts.  I've replied to them in my head.  It bugs me to see YOUR comments and my lack of a response.  Your voices make this blog special to me.  It's about me throwing something out there for information, entertainment, support ... and it's what comes back that matters most.  

Now, I'm back...  Except I still have some odds and ends to deal with.....Must answer the jury summons before I'm arrested or something, Must get to DMV to renew my license AND MUST organize my stuff for Friday to get more enrollees in Army of Women and have many MORE join the Health of Women Study.  

MUST seize the moment in this month of pinkness.  MUST raise awareness.... MUST share the truth and that truth is not tied with a neat pink bow.  Pink is okay... Must follow the lead of those who've been at this for a long time and MUST #ReThinkPink.