Monday, January 23, 2012


Do you watch football?  I am a sports fan.  An anomaly.  A women who understands lots of sports.  Including what we call soccer and the rest of the world calls football (or futbol).  And, I do understand the games.  I don't have to watch what the crowd is doing to decide if I should be cheering or crying into a beer.  FYI-I don't drink beer but alas, beer and sports seem to go hand in hand.  I however, prefer a great vodka, a smooth tequila, nice red wine or pricey champagne.  Sorry, Budweiser or Stella or whatever is trendy in the beer world.... just not my thing..... even when someone drops a shot glass into the beer and hands it to me-I'm told that tastes like chocolate milk.... ok... WAY off topic here.......

I'm not going to start explaining "off sides" or "downs" or "icing" but I DO know what they mean.  Over the past several weeks, I began to pay attention to the Denver Broncos. They have since been eliminated from Super Bowl contention and as of this morning, the stage is set.  A rematch.  NY Giants v NE Patriots.  NY v Boston.  The Broncos were ousted by Tom Brady and the Patriots.  Several weeks ago, however, I happened to catch the end of a Broncos game and it was damn exciting.  And it was all about the quarterback.  Tim Tebow.

This guy, uber-religious, has taken his skill to the gridiron that is professional football and for what appeared to the casual viewer (me), was continually pulling that proverbial rabbit out of a hat.  Week in and week out, for whatever reason, I would find myself in front of the television watching the tail end of a Denver game where the team was losing in the final moments (seconds?).  And week in and week out, this kid would have the rabbit hoisted in the air.  And I would be staring at the television, mouth in the fly catching position, head shaking from side to side, listening to my own voice: "Unbelievable. Wow. UNbelievable."

After each significant play, before allowing himself to be stormed by his teammates, he dropped to a knee in a prayerful pose of gratitude.  His skill on the field was garnering him plenty of attention.  Pulling these games out in the final seconds in such dramatic fashion made him the darling of the talking (and now insanely giddy) sports heads.  Dropping to his knee rather than spiking the ball or doing some sort of celebratory dance, turned him into a verb.

His antics are now known as "tebowing" and yes, that is googlable. (googlable=another person/place/thing noun turned verb which I just took to a new level by turning it into a different verb form...... perhaps one of the masterful English majors can tell me WHICH of the twelve verb types under which "googlable" might fit, I'd be much appreciative???????)  I am now filled with Verb Envy.  What can I possibly do in my life to turn myself into a verb.  I want to hear people saying, "She's AMing."  "They AMed it."  "Yes, you can AM that."  "It's definitely AMable."

The question now becomes obvious.  WHAT can I possibly do that will start out as a meme, go viral and thus elevate AM from lowly noun to mighty verb.  Can I take on the pink ribbon in some unique Tebowish way that would have people twisting their bodies in some crazy pose that is immediately synonymous with AM?  Something written?  A tongue lashing of epic proportions on a topic that stirs me with the fervent hope I can actually STAY on topic??

Wait!  I Got It!!  I'm going to make a list of possibilities and think about this for a spell.  Maybe one of YOU can meme it (or however the hell that word is properly used in a sentence and which, by the way is pronounced "meem" and requiring a google detour if you needed ME ME ME to share proper pronunciation.....) and help me in my quest for verb-dome!

For my consideration and anyone else who may care to chime in.....

1-The act of falling for no apparent reason
2-Tripping over my own two feet (related to item #1)
3-Falling UP the stairs (definitely related to item #2)
4-The ability to wear my age with pride and simultaneously FIGHT LIKE HELL to act like I'm a school-kid.
5-The need to have a hair holding buddy (not the same as a hand holding buddy and definitely related to #4)
6-Inventing my own words (Hurricado and Earthicane) and grammatically atrocious phrases (Anew Direction)
7-Writing like I speak thus turning the art of the pen into "Writing Like Jackson Pollock" (not necessarily related to, but definitely connected in some bizarre way to #6)
8-The act of speaking and then abruptly stopping mid sentence
9-Placing the middle finger of my right hand on the bridge of my nose and pressing firmly hoping that will reboot my mouth (positively related to #8)

Having brainstormed with myself, I'm leaning toward #9... number 9.... number 9....... number 9......

Next up?  I need to have someone like Jimmy Fallon who created TeBowie turn me into "AeMMY" and rework a song.  After some exhaustive research, here are my final thoughts.  I'll go with Emmy Rossum to be the Emmy of A-EMMY.  She's fabulous as Fiona in the Showtime series, Shameless but she was amazing on stage in Phantom.  Who wants to step in and rewrite the lyrics to "All I Ask of You?"  I'm pretty sure I can get my nutty girlfriend to dress up like she's on Broadway and perform the reworked version.

She may even give Jimmy Fallon a run for his money if we can get those lyrics as ingenious as he did.  I know she can belt it out and she can DEFINITELY don a suitable outfit befitting an opera star.

This is the game to beat:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Something to add? Do Share!