Thursday, January 12, 2012


Yesterday, my daughter asked me if she should get in the middle of a bit of a "thing" on Facebook where two of her friends were trading some words.  I have no idea what the mess was about and I told her, "Stay out of it."  We discussed how it wasn't her place to jump in the middle of what was happening between the two people in question.  She tried to explain why she felt the need to open her mouth and I did The No Longer Popular And Now Somewhat Obnoxious, "talk to the hand" thing.

Not too much later, I saw something and I was OUTRAGED.  And I mean F'ing OUTRAGED.  I promised myself to keep the profanity at a minimum and I am exercising every ounce of self restraint.  I really want to type out that word and use the largest font that blogger will allow.

One of the bloggers that I do not know very well is on the mend from a very frightening and very rough patch.  I was made aware of this when someone was trying to find out if anyone heard from her.  She was that sick and when one of us "goes missing" for longer than the rest of us think is reasonable, we send out a posse.  This is a tight community.  Twitter, Facebook, Bloggers......  We hunt each other down.

The other night, AFTER I told my daughter to mind her own business, I saw a blurb on twitter.  It was posted by Ann who blogs at But Doctor I Hate Pink. Ann is a Stage 4 Breast Cancer Patient, Ann is the patient who was in a "health crisis" and everyone was worried about Ann.   Everyone, that is, except a very mean-spirited person who apparently knows what's best despite fine doctors and a community of women who have been there, done that and have the T-shirts (many filled with surgically altered chests).  Ann's tweet:

"This woman is writing about ME. Not only am I a raging bull, but I'm stupid."

I can barely contain myself.  HOW DARE anyone speak to a total stranger like this??  You MUST be kidding me..... And then, to post comments on a blog that are positively abusive????  And to proclaim how knowledgable (sic) she is and how one will never win and thus we should not be crossing her??????  For starters, honey.... if you want to boost your credibility, pay attention to "spell check" ....  Personally, when someone can't even spell the word they claim to be, I tend to be a bit skeptical.

I won't justify anything with an explanation as someone so bossy and narrow-minded would not bother listening anyway. Why waste my time?  I am NOT posting links to this girl's blog either and if that causes trouble for me, So Be It.  I will take the chance of getting in trouble rather than see her blog audience boosted by too many people clicking on the damn link.  Instead.... I'm reprinting here.

NOTE.... these are copied and pasted directly from the offending (and OFFENSIVE) blog.  Not one word was changed. Oh..... and how can you tell when someone is bossy and narrow minded and a (close your eyes if you don't like bad words..... because here it comes)

FUCKING BULLY..... Their BLOG is closed to comments while they spew their venom at the rest of us.

This is the bio on the blog:

Feminist lover of nature, land preservation, hard music, good whiskey & tattoos. Warrior woman for many causes, including the right of all living things with nerve endings to be free of abuse & torture, both human & animal alike. On topics I'm passionate about it's best not to cross me. I'm knowledgable about those subjects thus you will never win. Plus I can get very ugly!

Every fiber of my being wants to hurl a mess of insults but I am going to stay on the high road.  I'm just sharing what I saw and jumping in on behalf of one of us.  I've said it many times, "What happens to one of us, happens to each of us."  I find it both disgusting and disgraceful that anyone would use their blog to disparage another human being.  It's so easy to dispense medical advice from The Cheap Seats.  You know, the seats where there is no IV pole or port or poison being coursed through the veins.  Ann, I am with you..... and as for That Other Person...... this is what she had to say.... Like I said, reprinting so as not to increase her audience.

Just one more observation.  Is loving whiskey healthy?  And what about injecting dye into your skin for tat's?  And what is up with the bullshit about "all living things with nerve endings to be free of abuse and torture" ???  You may want to double check the dictionary and read the definition of abuse and torture a bit more carefully.  Just sayin'

"Common sense is not so common." ~Voltaire

I swear to gawd on high that there's no truer words ever spoken on this earth than the ones above.

I was going through some blogs that I read on a pretty steady basis & read one from a woman who has Stage IV cancer.  Yeah, she's been through hell & back, as most cancer patients have been.  My dad, my brother, my 41yo cousin,  many friends, many family, many acquaintainces have had it.  Some died from it & some haven't.  This particular blogger is fighting for her life at the moment & is most recently trying to recover from a difficult surgery & C-diff.  She weighs 90 lbs & is trying to gain weight... by eating processed cheese food-like substances, candy, canned preservative-ladened salt-ladened soups, and other really nutritious foods like that (read with sarcasm added!).  I suggested to her, in the comment section of her blog entry, that she might do well to try fresh organic leafy green vegetable juices & fresh organic fruit juices & stay away from the chemically processed crap and sugar.  After all that's probably what helped cause her cancer to begin with, in my viewpoint.

She responded like a raging bull, accusing me of saying that she caused her own cancer.

I give up on stupidity & stupid people.  If this chick thinks she can recover well from her recent surgery, the C-diff, & cancer in general by eating bon-bons, there's nothing I can do or say to change her mind.  If someone in this condition thinks that Fannie May & Progresso will make life all better, I wish her well.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but "well" is the last thing she's going to be, eating shit like she's eating.  But why should I care?  I dunno... I'm a sucker for stupid people, I guess.


  1. As you say AM it's very easy for those "with the cheap seats" to be judgmental. I think this woman is probably a "troll" who enjoys picking on cancer patients. Not my idea of a good time but Unfortunately I have seen this kind of thing before. I think someone might find themselves with the expensive seats in hell........just saying...........

  2. Rach,
    Expensive seats in hell. love that..... and those expensive seats in hell should begin by sitting in The Chair actually feeling that wonderful sensation of having hours of "stuff" going into the blood. I really do try to shut up but I was born with the "That's Not RIGHT" gene along with that Feel Bad Gene and sometimes when I see something I feel is so egregious, I can't shut up. I yell and let the chips fall where they may. Guess I accurately pinned one of my words when I claimed "rebellious" ... xoxox

  3. AnneMarie,
    I am so sorry that there are people in this world that are so insensitive and foolish. So many people "blame the victim" in our society. Many of them are public health evangelists...communicators...(and since I have a MPH I feel I can critique) who do not even see what they are doing. I hope that this person's eyes and heart will be opened. Know that you and your friend, Ann, who is suffering are in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. I forgot to mention that the writer of the offensive blog may also be trying to increase the number of views to her blog by being as unpleasant and disgusting as he/she can be. It is gross!

  5. I was diagnosed with stage 111C breast cancer last March. I say when you are going thru chemo you should eat whatever you feel liking eating. I survived on Oreos and white bread (which I NEVER at before chemo, I ate healthy and exercised and STILL got cancer). When you have survived the chemo (which you will even if there are a few days when you can't imagine how) then you can go back to eating healthy. In the meantime, do anything that feels good, and just get through each day with whatever pleasure you can find. Chemo is hard enough, give yourself a break.

  6. AnneMarie,

    This is a powerful posting, and OH MY GOSH. That woman is full of venom and an ignoramus. It amazes me how judgmental she is. I am infuriated at this harsh nonsense this jerk is spewing. Ann has been going through hell and now she's being blamed for her cancer? Hate this crap. Good for you for calling out this person's heinous statements.

  7. My grandfather used to say "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Clearly she knows not of what she speaks, and also never heard the saying "if you have nothing nice to say, hush up." There are many, many ignorant people in the world, and she is one who also can't seem to hear the voices of others. Thankfully rest confident that this community will shut her down.

  8. Thank you so much for your support. The woman wasn't attacking me as much as she was all cancer patients, of which I am just a representative. I think that's why it's okay for you to tell your daughter not to get in between two girls, yet you stood up for me. It was more than a fight between two people - it was words that all cancer patients are forced to hear and put up with. Somehow, in some minds, it's our fault we got cancer. You just had enough, and I thank you for your post. I am going to link to your blog - somehow I missed it! :)

    1. First.... Ann, thank you for letting me know this was okay with you. When I saw the tweet, I guess I lost my mind and yes, I really DO believe what I said, "What happens to one of us, happens to each of us." All those silly buzz words like "sisterhood" are not just buzz words. There is a bond among us and it's very real. I know everyone "gets it" and that's why the connection is so powerful (my opinion)...

      And, thanks Kathleen, Laura, Beth & Lori for having my back... (Ann's back.... all of our backs)..... and I SO agree with you Laura. When we are on chemo or having other issues that are chemo fallout, ALL forms of "fuel" are helpful. Is it optimal? Probably not, but I did the same thing when I was on chemo. I ate what I craved. Wendy's french fries are jumping into my head at the moment. The biggest thing was to JUST eat. I mean really. Let's just get graphic for a second..... If "junk" will stay down and "leafy greens" will NOT..... Here's where I stop because now I am giving this person more of me than she deserves.

  9. Holy CRAP! I can't believe someone would write like that! I'm glad you didn't include a link to her website. It would be so tempting....just wait until she's facing a life-threatening illness despite her "diet."

    My own cousin thinks that chemo doesn't cure cancer and that good eating will cure everything/prevent cancer. I unfriended him on Facebook because I couldn't stand the stuff he was posting.

    1. Yeah, GM, I thought that was pretty awful and clearly, there are some things that just trigger me to spring into action. (Read-opening my BIG mouth).... this was one of them....

      As for your cousin, I would have unfriended him too... or, more likely, if he were my cousin and FB friend, I might have engaged in a few FB wars just because sometimes I can't just "put a muzzle on it!"

      The Cancer Rebel Extraordinaire..... ;)

  10. I'm glad so many people have spoken out about this - the Cyberbullying is getting out of control. Cancer patients don't need this kind of crap from people who haven't been through it, themselves (Heck, they don't need it from people who have.) I just finished my radiation treatments in December and am going on Tamoxifen at the end of the month. I'm 37. I did not cause my cancer, I did not deserve my cancer, and I am VERY lucky to have gotten as far as I have as relatively easily as I have - reading Ann's blog reminds me to be grateful for that every day, and to work to be half as strong as she is. The other woman? *snort*. Closed comments? If you can't take the heat, why did you build the kitchen, anyhow? I'm hoping she meant well and just went about it in an unconsciously insensitive way... The alternative is depressing.

  11. Melissa,
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Cyberbullying on all levels is a disgrace. I was equally outraged to read about the girl scouts on your blog. Maybe the motivation here was self serving as Kathleen suggested. Regardless, sitting in judgement of another is not the way I choose to live my life although I (apparently) have no problem Judging the Judgers. Stay well and all the best as you begin working toward your doctorate.

  12. Oh, AM, I know. Wasn't that awful with Ann and that ignorant blogger? We are so lucky that we've got each other's backs. Another of our friends in the blogosphere discovered that a newly launched blogger was blatantly plagiarizing her. Enough of us jumped on this quickly enough to apparently induce this person to remove the blog entirely. There's a lot of nonsense that people think they can get away with in cyberspace, but fortunately, so far, the good outweighs the bad, and certainly among all of us!!

    It's got to be so hard to be a parent, though, and keep track of how your children are interacting with the net. It's hard enough when you're a grown-up!! Hugs.

  13. K-I know. This was a weird week indeed. I saw what happened with Nancy. I got pretty ticked off at that, too! By the time I had myself organized enough to catch up with everyone, you guys already extinguished that fire. I like knowing we have "a posse of rebels" all looking out for each other. Pretty inspiring group! xoxo


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