Thursday, October 10, 2013


I swore I was going to be more effective.  Less ranting.  More inclusive.  Less polarizing.

And then....

FACEBOOK... F*cking Facebook.

Lest we forget about Susan Niebur and her impassioned words which are so powerful.... how does this still happen?

I ranted.  I broke my own rule.

But then, besides the insensitivity of the whole thing, to stage this on what is traditionally the ONE lousy day that we devote to Metastatic Breast Cancer PATIENTS, I raged.  I'm fighting to make sure their voices are heard and on that very day, Facebook is playing with bras (or rather NO bras) for awareness.

How about the cold hard facts about the lack of meaningful progress for those whose disease has metastasized?  How about those death numbers, substantially unchanged.

In 100,000 people... in 1970, 28.4 were killed by breast cancer.

In 2010, 26.1 dead for every 100,000 people.


We've impacted the lives of precisely 2.3 people.  Forty years of ribbons and awareness.....  Here's the visual.

Line up 100,000 people... yank out 2.  Ask another to simply step a forward just a little.... And that's what we got.  If it were even a paltry 50 or 100, the crowd in place would still be far too many but at least there wouldn't be two lonely souls standing away from the crowd.  There would at least be a "little crowd"......

Oh.. back to Facebook....Yes, I raged.  And then, I ranted.  And WOW and thanks to everyone who shared the rant on Facebook.  I'm blown away.  Totally Blown Away.  The rant is here.....

And read beyond the picture because at the end of the day, literally.  I laughed.

SERIOUSLY... Please tell me there isn't a No Bra Day for "Breast Cancer Awareness" all over Facebook for October 13th... PLEASE. October 13th??? That is the ONE day in the entire effin' month that we ACKNOWLEDGE those with METASTATIC breast cancer. For the "uneducated" (I'm being nice, I wanted to say IDIOTS) this is when breast cancer causes DEATH. ONE day to honor those whose disease has metastasized and we are playing games with bras? Most of us have already "sacrificed our breasts to the cancer gods in a hail mary attempt to save our lives" Those words, paraphrased, belong to a now deceased blogger whose video about this Facebook stupidity that is hurtful and harmful to the people you are claiming to support: Breast Cancer Patients has been posted on my timeline. "Let's have a little fun" .... Ummm, yeah... there's nothing fun about cancer and if you want to have some fun, maybe you should ask an actual breast cancer patient what constitutes "fun" .... FYI.... quite proudly I will publicly announce, I no longer NEED a bra thanks to the skilled hands of a spectacular plastic surgeon, who, like all the kings horses and all the kings men.. put ME back together again. Rant OVER. Please feel free to share and feel free to tell me why my point of view, as a breast cancer patient who's intimately involved with the metastatic community..... Go ahead... I G'damn DARE you......tell me why my point of view is WRONG.  JUST.GO.AWAY.....

MY "TATAS" are in a medical waste field.... actually, they are in wax for research.  They've been freed.

Question and stick with me here.... Where do you have your "aha" moments?  What place seems to calm your mind to allow inspiring thoughts to flow through?  You know, the great idea moments.

For me, it's the shower.  Yesterday, as I was preparing this post, the water was flowing over my perfectly crafted, thanks to Dr Hot Plastic Surgeon prosthetic breasts that replaced the amputated parts and it just came to me.

I have a winning solution to Bra-less October 13th which is this Sunday.  I say No Bra Day supporters partner with the NFL.  Hell, no one does body painting better than football fans.... faces, bare chests (male only of course), hair .....

Don't stop at No Bra.... Be brave.... Paint 'em pink and show 'em off.  Preferably in an NFL stadium or some other sports viewing venue.

I think I'm a damn genius.  I'm Just Sayin'

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  1. Yes you are a genius. When I first saw the ad I think I threw up a little bit. I am thankful none of my friends posted.

    1. You make me laugh, Lexie..... not that any of this is funny... but yeah... enough already.

  2. That's why it was so important to advocate for this day each and every year, not just 2009, this group, whoever they are, probably are not even aware that this is "our day"; but I liked Nancy's Point blog where she "points" out the need to change the NBCAM to "Education" month instead of awareness, then at least the media and all of the classifications of breast cancer can be covered-"educate the masses" instead of making them aware-we have had enough awareness already, enough to choke a horse!

    1. TP, As Nancy also wisely pointed out recently, global awareness is sorely lacking, and as we all should know, metastatic breast cancer awareness is also sorely lacking… Education and Awareness should go hand in hand. The national MBC day is American, whatever year or years claimed. A great many of us are not American. I would like to see global awareness. Global awareness of fact, truth, and reason. I would like to see the various global fragments of research and monies pulled together. That would be truly powerful.

    2. I'm all in on the Education thing. I swore I was banning the "A" word in a post I wrote in September.. I know it's not clickable.... but you can cut and paste....

      It IS all about educating.... and on a global stage. That's part of the reason I was so anxious to have Kwanele write yesterday's post from her perspective as a South African woman who is a passionate advocate with her own horrific story.

  3. "MY "TATAS" are in a medical waste field..." Yup... LOL
    You are a damn genius AM. Just sayin' ... <3

  4. So spot on! Well done AM. Global (I can't even say the A word) as in International Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness (there, I said it) Day. I doubt the braless day people went before congress. Name the day, run with it. Again, this was some excellent ranting!

    1. Yes, name the day and run with it! We have to take what we need, collectively... and then ACT on it!

      There is not official "Previvor" day either...

      I'm the monkey in the middle in my life... "mets in mom" "previvor status for daughter" and me "NED and well aware that could be ripped from my status in a split second" ...... I remember the split second I typed the words "metastatic" about my mom. I can still see myself, like an out of body thing.... IT HAPPENS....

    2. Hit enter too soon... and when it happens.. it really SUCKS...


  5. Honestly, I think too many people are giving the no bra/Oct 13 way too much attention, I myself will be posting Anita's stage iv story on Oct 13 which also happens to be her birthday, she never thought she would live as long as she has, I will be asking everyone on this day, Oct 13, to help an MBC warrior celebrate another year of life!

  6. I finally found an article on this that didn't draw more people to the "campaign" (I use that term loosely). There's a back story to this which is quite enlightening, but doesn't make it any less tasteless and inappropriate.

    Yes. The choice of dates was unfortunate. But in my opinion, there is no date that would be acceptable. Why? Because there is a very fine line between being provocative and exploitation -- especially when it comes to BC campaigns. And frankly, BC is a LOT of things, but "sexy" isn't one of them. This campaign doesn't educate. It doesn't support awareness (except the "show us your tits" variety). And it CERTAINLY doesn't show respect OR support of any person who has experienced the trauma of BC surgery. How exactly is a woman who has had multiple biopsies, a lumpectomy, or mastectomy (with or without reconstruction) supposed to feel "honored" by such a flagrant display of Boobage? I think the only thing that could make this worse if it were an event sponsored by Victoria's Secret and held at Hooter's.

    As much as I'd like to overlook the obvious miscalculations here, this makes the annual Facebook "Awareness" Game pale in comparison.

    For your reference, see these two articles:

    Sexualizing Breast Cancer Awareness Campaigns

    No Bra Day' & Other Dishonest Ways We AREN'T Raising Breast Cancer Awareness

  7. Thanks to all.....

    The truth is I'm **trying** to stay away from all of this stupidity. It's not going to change any time soon and yes, this is offensive on every level, any day of the year. Totally agree with you BA and with you, too anonymous....

    I don't want to incite a riot over anything but I am highly sensitive to the needs of the metastatic community. As a non-metastatic patient, I am following their lead and give them a voice. If enough of those in that community don't like something, I'm going to open my mouth.

    They are already marginalized within the greater breast cancer community. They have been using the 13th to highlight that they've been swallowed by the pink machine--that they are "non-existent." Their feelings make the date of this event most offensive to me. First, I am going to make sure they are heard...

    The urgency of the needs of those with metastatic disease can not be understated.

    The idiotic nonsense that is cloaked under the guise of awareness? Yes, we need to call this shit out.

    This year, however, in this space, I've made my focus:

    Don't mess with anything that is supporting or attempting to bring attention to those whose needs are the greatest.

    This event, Not Acceptable. Ever. On this particular date, INTOLERABLE because once again, stupidity is overshadowing those for whom there has been very little progress.


  8. "I think I'm a damn genius." Love it !!


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