I'm trying to put the brakes on what feels like a runaway train. My life.
It's been a long week. A too quick summer and a very long week.
Monday? Glorious. Terri, A Fresh Chapter, Terri who has been traversing the continent spent the day with me. Here. In my home. We had a wonderful day together. Doing nothing for a while and then, separately, retreating to our laptops to get some work done. Lunch at a great NY pizza joint, hugs at the train station.....
Tuesday? Heartbroken. I've been worried about Catherine. Exactly one year ago, she was in NYC and we met for tea. We strolled the streets of Brooklyn and had a beautiful summer visit. A cancer diagnosis for her first wedding anniversary, still in her 20's. This summer? Catherine was moving beyond cancer.
What began in June, screening, with plans of starting a family, of having a baby, came crashing down on August 13th. Two months into what should have been great anticipation about the next chapter, her world has been shaken to its core. Zsolt's too.
Not Awesome News was delivered by Dr. Canada. Catherine, whose 31st birthday was just about a month ago has been diagnosed with metastatic disease. The breast cancer is in her lungs.
I'm really pissed off. I know you guys in the labs are trying your best, but damn it to hell, your best isn't good enough anymore. We need more research, different research, a new angle. Frankly, the status quo stopped working a long time ago. This week, it really hurts. Lots.
For you, Catherine. Right by your side, steadying your step. Sending love.
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I hate, hate, hate this! Every time I learn about cancer in someone I know, or a friend of a friend, my heart breaks. I lose a little piece of myself. Catherine, you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou are just wonderful, Anne Marie. I'd say not to take on this load - because of course I worry about you too, but I know your nature. You just care so much about everyone. Thank you for this post and your support.
ReplyDeleteI hear all kinds of exciting things regarding treatment, though to be honest - I heard nothing too exciting this week when receiving that diagnosis. Advanced cancer is still seen as a really shitty, life-ending deal. And that pisses me right off. Along with all those sexy scientists working to save the world, I think the patient community is becoming a force. From what I've been reading this week (plus seen for ages online), and all the support, and all the ideas ... I am thinking good changes are happening. Now if they could only happen faster, that would be great.
And one of these days I’ll be stopping through New York and visiting you again! This time you can meet Zsolt too. :)
dear Anne Marie,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that you got to spend time with both Terri and Catherine, two fabulous women in the BC community. it must always be a dream come true to actually get to meet and be with people whom we feel so very connected to through stories shared.
the very thought of what Catherine is going through is so fucking WRONG. I think it's so kind, generous and caring of you to highlight Catherine and Zsolt's plight, so indicative of the need for ratcheting up the efforts of medical science to help people be able to hold onto hope and have the reassurance that there is an effective and designated treatment available. dammit, dammit, dammit - I am so angry!
and to dear Catherine, the universe is filling up with all manner of love, good wishes, and BIG HOPE to help you find your way, and to know that you. are. not. alone.
much love and light, XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Love you ALL...
ReplyDeleteunplugging for the weekend... time to recharge the battery....
Really LOVE YOU ALL.....
Oh Anne Marie I share your devastation at Catherine's news - sending love and light to our dear sweet friend who is much loved among us.
ReplyDeleteSeeing the outpouring of love and support for our sweet blog friend is yet another reason our blog community is so valuable. I second TC in saying that indeed lots of love, best wishes, and big hope are surrounding dear Catherine right now.
ReplyDeletenice post here, it changed my mood. I pray she gets better. Amen.
ReplyDeletei also love your style of blogging here on chemo-brain.blogspot.com :)
you see, there are 2 blogs that i've found so far to be very helpful and have something interesting for me whenever i visit, this one and http://danieluyi.com
Keep it up. I will be visiting again.