This will be her first day back since her mets diagnosis and I'm sure it is going to be emotional. I know she loves where she works and she will be surrounded by tons of support. Still, most of her co-workers won't "get it." There may be awkward moments. What is appropriate to say? This has been discussed and written about, I'm going to guess, HUNDREDS (if not thousands) of times.
I'm not a mets patients so I am not going to pretend that I understand, either. I've just learned from listening and that would be my best suggestion. Less talking and more listening. And the talking might be best along the lines of, "Do you want to talk?" If I had more energy, I'd go hunt down all of the blog posts I could find to provide a roadmap for Barb and her co-workers.
Lisa Bonchek Adams was recently diagnosed with bone mets so her posts are the ones that immediately jump to my mind. I'm leaving them as links with the web addresses in case cutting and pasting is necessary. Lisa's words may help describe feelings that I can't pretend to understand.
Here are the links to the blogs I follow. I follow more, but I forget to update the list so I could use a little help if I'm missing any....
The first group of blogs are written by Stage IV patients.
And for you, Barb.... I know today is going to be emotional. You know how to get me if you want to talk. I'm here.
And, I happened to see a comment you left on Dirty Pink Underbelly's blog. Seriously? Hit by a bus??? I'm so damn tired of hearing the "hit by a bus" thing I think the next time someone says it, I will THROW them in front of a bus. There's a big problem with that analogy.
Some of us are very safely in the suburbs where buses are scarce.....thereby reducing our chances by the mere fact that there aren't any buses. That's for starters. And for the city dwellers. Some of us are walking safely on the sidewalk, far from the street. Others are walking a bit close to the curb and several others are cautiously walking on the shoulder of a very busy city street. THEN, there are those who are walking IN THE BUS LANE directly AT THE ONCOMING BUS TRAFFIC.
In a nutshell, THAT is the problem with the whole hit by a bus thing. So, I hope the next time you hear that bus comment, you can laugh while saying,
"Tell me about the bus when you step off the sidewalk and find yourself walking in the bus lane toward oncoming traffic during rush hour."
Too mean? Maybe, but then, isn't "hit by a bus" even meaner? Yeah, thought so.
xoxoxo
