IDENTITY THEFT, AGAIN? REALLY???

Things have been a little too serious around here... time to mix it up.  Righteous indignation is getting on my one remaining nerve.  Today, I'm going with just DAMN angry...

It's not really a big deal, except and unless you have a chemobrain.  Then... this stuff gets irritating.  Strap yourselves in. I feel a twisted post on the way.

Rant number one.  I'm on a Do Not Call Registry.  NYS and Federal.  Both of them were renewed.  It doesn't stop charitable organizations from calling to solicit donations.  I know this and mostly, I cut them off.  Not mid sentence.  Ok.. most of the times, not mid-sentence.  I'm thinking that generally depends upon my frame of mind, what I was interrupted from doing when the phone rang, if the tag inside my blouse is annoying me.....

The other day, it was Wait.For.It:  The Breast Cancer Society.  I decided to have a little fun and let this woman go on and on about the need to help the underserved.  We pay for this and that and the other thing.  After she gave her pitch, she asked if she could count on me to help with a gift of (insert any amount because I don't remember what the hell she said). When I said no, she amp'd up the pitch, this time for a slightly lower amount of money.

I don't know how long I let this dance continue before I finally asked, "Did I hear you correctly at the beginning of this call? Are you a paid, professional fund raiser?"  When she confirmed this, I let loose. "I am a VOLUNTEER with a number of breast cancer organizations and I volunteer my time at MSKCC."  Bitch patronized me.  "That's great that you volunteer of your time, won't you consider a financial donation to those who have to deal with this awful disease."  Really????  The phone call concluded, rather abruptly, when I identified myself as a breast cancer patient, six years post treatment..... (FYI and for future investigation.....The website of this particular organization looks a bit shady to me.  I looked at the tax return.  Most of the money is being sent to places out of this country and they spend an enormous amount on professional fund raising AND, if it IS a scam, it's been many millions of dollars.  Something just feels "off" but I'm not in Super Sleuth mode.)

Then, there is Diane.  Diane is a robot who has called me to have my carpets cleaned, service my chimney, consolidate my credit card debt..... and I can't recall what other wonderful services she has offered me.  "Hi! This is Diane!!"  I'm pretty sure I hate her voice and I know she's a real person, unless of course someone, somewhere, has developed some pretty amazing voice duplication software.  She gets me every time.  I have gotten to the point where I am tempted to refuse any and all calls from toll free numbers.... except......

The real robot.  Last night at 6:15, "This is Citibank early fraud unit with a call for" ....... robot voice...... and now I have to wait......  is it my credit card or is it for one of the other four people who have credit cards with bills that come to this address.  Finally, the robot spit out my name.  Is this you and if so, press one.  Do I recognize the following charges? First, did I make a purchase in the amount of ..... robot voice ...... at .... robot voice ......  I was teetering in my brain. Should I push please repeat, should I say yes in case I forgot about some purchase and wait to hear the next charge, should I say no and have a real person get on the phone?  Screw this, I thought and said, NO....

A lovely representative got on the line and began to ask me about another charge.  The two charges were close to $600.00. She said there were three others.  I asked her when these purchases were made.  They were all internet purchases and they were all from today.  She graciously waited while I logged on to my Citibank account so I could take a look at what the hell was going on with my credit card.  Someone let their fingers do the walking on a shopping spree to the tune of over $1500.00.

Some of you may recall my damn anger over an incident in a department store.  In that case, someone had a forged driver's license and had the BALLS to pull this stunt face to face.  That was one of my funnier blog posts if you want a little entertaining.  This post?  Not so much on the humor side.  I must say,  I think I have more respect for the ballsy bitch who actually showed up in the store.  The person that tried to pull this stunt?  Coward.  Hiding behind the computer screen....

This is the third time my identity has been stolen in a short time.  The story I didn't tell involved a Wal Mart in Texas, online purchases set up to be picked up in the store by a third party.  Besides the woman at Wal Mart who hunted me down to ask me if I ordered anything from them, I received a phone call from a detective in Texas who spoke with the most adorable twang in his voice.  He told me about this woman who they did bring in for questioning.  Some Russian guy primed her with flowers and chocolate, then after professing his love, convinced her to show up to pick up random packages (electronics items) and mail them to him.

No clue how much merchandise got away, I just know that the purchases made with my card never made it into her hands. That was actually a great story that played out over two days.  The clerk got her license and the clerk went to the police station when the security people at Wal Mart refused to do anything.  The clerk put her job on the line by doing that.  The moral of that story?  The people in Texas are among the kindest, most genuine in this country and their hearts are as big as the state in which they live.  AND, never underestimate the power of a box of chocolate and a bouquet of flowers. Those were my parting words to the adorable and (I could just tell) very young detective.  "Never forget:  chocolate and flowers."

As for this mess.... my new card should be arriving some time today and I'd love to know what was ordered at Nordstrom. I'm not a fan of Ralph Lauren unless it's the super expensive couture line which I do NOT purchase, just sayin'.......At a buck fifty, I'm guessing it wasn't the couture stuff.  Coach, sometimes.  Or not.  On the other hand, Nordstrom..... well... that screams two things.  Shoes and lingerie.  Maybe I should have told them to ship the stuff to me.  I might have pretended the thief was my own personal assistant.